


Gonna Go Grab a Twink

by littledemon66



Category: Rune Factory 4
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor, it's only a few sex jokes nothing major, this all stemmed from a conversation i had with a friend, this was funny to me alright, we were on crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23830921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledemon66/pseuds/littledemon66
Summary: A slip of the tongue is all it takes for Dylas to get teased. But maybe some good can come out of it anyway.
Relationships: Doug/Dylas (Rune Factory)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Gonna Go Grab a Twink

**Author's Note:**

> This was wholly based off of a conversation I had with my friend. She said that she was gonna go grab a twink but she really meant a Twinkie. Obviously, I clowned on her for it but then I realized that it could be a good fic prompt. And when I think of twinks, Doug is the first person I think of.

One morning, Dylas and Margaret were cleaning up the restaurant and getting ready for the customers that would be coming for breakfast. He was getting a little hungry, but didn’t want to waste the remaining ingredients in the pantry. Margaret and Dylas had just barely protected the leftover ingredients the day before from Porcoline. Then he remembered his secret box of a snack that Lest had given him. What did he call it again?

  


“Hey, Meg. I’m getting hungry so I’m gonna go grab a twink.” Dylas paused. That name didn’t sound right now that he said it out loud. By the way Margaret slowly turned to look at him with a horrified expression on her face, he definitely got it wrong.

  


“Excuse me?!” Margaret screamed, tossing the rag she was using to clean the tables to the side. Dylas stopped, racking his brain for the right name. What did Lest call those little snacks?

  


“Wait, no. Not a twink.” Then, Dylas audibly gasped. “Twinkies! They were called Twinkies!”

  


“Hold on, what?!” Margaret looked completely baffled now.

  


“I’m grabbing a snack.” Dylas had to smother a laugh. “Not what you’re thinking.”

  


“So you’re calling the twink a snack?!” Margaret was starting to catch on, but opted to continue teasing the former Guardian.

  


“No!” Dylas let out a frustrated sigh. “Not the twink. I’m talking about the food!”

  


“Twinks aren’t food!” Margaret pretended not to understand, laughing as she spoke.

  


Then the door to the restaurant opened, revealing Leon. He looked pleasantly surprised when he saw the two arguing. He leaned against a table, fan fluttering open to hide his grin.

  


“My, my. You two are certainly hyper today.” Leon fanned himself.

  


“Leon, you would not  _ believe _ what Dylas just told me.” Margaret turned to face him. Dylas groaned in response.

  


“Oh?” Leon snapped his fan shut. “Do tell. I’d love to know what he said.”

  


“Dylas said he’s gonna go grab a twink from his room.” Margaret said. “And he called it a snack!”

  


“How scandalous!” Leon commented with a theatrical tone. “But I saw Doug outside the grocery store. Unless his Escape spell takes him to Dylas’s room, I don’t think he could be upstairs right now.”

  


That sent Margaret into a fit of laughter. Dylas hid his face in his jacket to mask his embarrassment. Leon, annoyingly sharp eyes be damned, caught the other Guardian’s awkward movement, but said nothing.

  


“I  _ need _ to tell Doug about this if I see him.” Margaret wiped the tears from her eyes. “He needs to know that the horse is on the hunt!”

  


“Don’t call me a horse!” Dylas snapped. Leon smirked at him.

  


“Is being called a horse the only problem you had with that?” Leon teased. Dylas tensed up, making him chuckle.

  


“You know what I mean.” Dylas sighed.

  


“I knew you could get some, but I never expected to hear that you literally ate ass.” Leon spoke calmly.

  


Margaret burst into surprised laughter again. Dylas went undeniably red and had a shocked expression on his face. Leon couldn’t help himself and started laughing at the comical display. They were all so distracted that they didn’t notice the door opening. Leon turned his head to look at the doorway.

  


“Good morning, Doug. You missed quite a lot.” Leon snapped his fan open to cover his smirk.

  


“I did? Man, I only overslept an hour…” Doug whined. Dylas looked absolutely mortified when he turned to see the dwarf. Margaret put a hand over her mouth to attempt to stop her giggles.

  


“Dylas was  _ just _ talking about you.” Margaret said.

  


“No no no. I was not. You two were. I had nothing to do with this.” Dylas quickly denied any involvement. It was bad enough that Margaret and Leon were making fun of him.

  


“Whaaaat?! No way, you gotta tell me!” Doug stubbornly argued.

  


“Absolutely not!” Dylas butt in before anyone else could speak. “Restaurant’s open now so either get out if you don’t want anything or order something.”

  


“I’m off then. I promised Forte that I’d make a song for her.” Margaret smiled and waved to the three men.

  


“I’ll take a salted rainbow trout.” Leon took a seat at the table he was leaning against.

  


“Tempura bowl for me!” Doug said excitedly, putting aside the rivalry with Dylas. He was starving so food was the first thought in his mind. He sat next to Leon, not completely forgetting what he walked in on.

  


The last thing Dylas wanted to do was leave Leon with Doug, but he had no choice. They were still customers so he walked to the kitchen, straining his ears to listen in on the conversation. Leon was speaking quietly but Dylas couldn’t hear what was being said over the sound of the sizzling tempura on the frying pan. When he came back with two plates of their food, Doug was red in the face and Leon was laughing.

  


“It’s been fun, but I’ve got to go. The foxes at the temple need me.” Leon took the salted rainbow trout and left. “Don’t have too much fun, you two.”

  


Dylas ignored Leon, placing the tempura bowl in front of Doug. One look at the dwarf’s face and he knew that Leon had told him everything. Doug was snickering to himself, but quieted as soon as he saw the rice dish.

  


“Shut up and eat.” Dylas said curtly.

  


“So you think I’m a snack, huh?” Doug asked jokingly before shoveling the rice into his mouth.

  


“We’re not talking about this now.” Dylas shut him down. Doug stopped eating for a moment, looked up, and grinned widely.

  


“So we can talk about it later?” Doug hummed, swinging his feet.

  


“We’ll see. Now eat up and get out of here, dwarf.” Dylas huffed, turning to make himself breakfast. As much as he wanted to go upstairs and grab that small box of Twinkies (not twinks, he was never going to make that mistake ever again), he couldn’t just leave the restaurant unattended.

  


“Whatever, horsie.” Doug continued to eat his food.

  


By then, other people began to come into the restaurant for breakfast so Dylas didn’t have time to talk to Doug. Porcoline came down from his room and stationed himself in the kitchen. When Dylas went to where the dwarf had sat to clean up, he saw money and a note. He picked the note up and read it.

  


_ You’re a bit of a snack too. Maybe even a full-course meal. I’m coming over after dinner and you better share those Twinkies. _

  


Dylas rolled his eyes, folding the note and pocketing it. He barely had time to think about it because he still had customers to serve. Most of the people here weren’t citizens of Selphia so they wouldn’t be as lenient if their food was eaten. But as soon as the breakfast rush was over, the events from that morning began to sink in. Maybe mixing up twinks and Twinkies wasn’t such a terrible mistake.

**Author's Note:**

> This was literally so stupid but I just had to write it. I have absolutely no self-control. Feel free to kill me for this any time.
> 
> If you enjoyed, leave a kudos and/or comment because I crave validation!


End file.
